Along came a spider...

Yep that's my bag that I was taking to work, I had to set it down to lock the door on my way out and this little gal showed herself.  Saved me from doing the "I'm not afraid of spiders, but get the hell off of me" dance in the front yard.  Hopefully she doesn't have a charlotte web style egg sac somewhere in there...


I started my morning watching a video which was one of the most disturbing things I ever saw.

No not this one, this one is kinda funny - I also watched it... [go ahead - it's funny]

The disturbing video was one I wished I could immediately "un-watch."  There's not a lot of things that disturb me.  I can take a lot of visual input - blood, pain, ickyness.  I spent much of my young adulthood reading novels about murders, serial killers, perverts, etc.  But I really wish I wouldn't have watched what I watched this morning.  It depressed me and haunted me all day.  I hope my brain resets while I sleep. 

Dad Report: I am ashamed to say I got frustrated with my Dad today.  It doesn't happen often and when it does I feel immense shame.  It's not like I yelled at him or anything but I did press a point that I shouldn't have and for this I am very sorry and ashamed.  He was stuck on that loop about people dropping him off at churches and them transporting him in the night back to his bed.  He had new information that provided him with a greater understanding of why people dropped him at this remote location, and it was because until yesterday he didn't have a complete picture of where he lived but now he understands that his building is quite far away from where people are that visit him and so they drop him at the building on the hill which is more convenient... and thus he has to be transported back to his room.  While he says that he's grown accustomed to it - he says that occasionally it still frightens him.  And on that point, with the desire to lessen his fear (but really I am sure partially because he is incorrect and I am compelled to correct him) I pressed the point that everyone I have talked to that has dropped him off, says they take him to his building.  Anyway... after a short discussion, it was clear that this is his reality and that it will not be changed by any amount of logic or reasoning or explanation.  In fact -- because I am sure of the weirdness of it all - he repeats it over and over as if to convince himself or get reassurance from me that this is indeed the truth.

I expressed later tonight to a group of friends the following: I need to listen and learn.  I need to understand that my reality is NOT someone else's reality.  Not only that -but that I have no right to try and impose my reality, belief, idea of what's best or accurate on another person (unless they specifically request my opinion).  Not with my Dad.  Not with my co-workers.  Not with my children.  I have no right to challenge another person's reality, beliefs, idea of what's best or accurate. It not my job. It is not my place.  Listen.  Learn.  

Tomorrow we go to Oklahoma - not sure there will be a post tomorrow - depends on internet.  We'll be there until Monday night - I will just have to see how it goes. 

It's my blog I will do what I want.

The writing:

Huh. I am running out.  Or can't find.  Ut oh.


Random Photo of the Day:

Yah.  That's a good way to end today.