Having faith more or less

It's less about lack of faith, more about accepting the faith I have.  This is what I have discovered.  Being ok with my beliefs and learning to actually let myself rely on them - let them be utilized to better my world - resting my burdens upon it - giving time and space to all things to allow my belief system to carry me along with less stress and more serenity.  So today I have learned my beliefs are intact and well established - they have longevity and have been there during many rough times - I do lean on them occasionally but I need to develop the faith in them to assist me daily; with them peace is within my grasp.

Dad Report: somewhere along the way Dad forgot yesterday - so we got to revisit Sunday briefly - I gently let him know that he missed Monday - and he pondered a moment and then agreed "but that nothing happened but his wife calling him from the ferry station."  We chatted about random things - nothing terribly special.  He lamented that the week after a nice weekend always was extra lonely and boring - and I reminded him that my sister and her partner would be there this coming weekend; this brightened him right up - even though we had talked about it at the beginning of the call by then he had obviously forgotten.

The writing: (2004)

and I stand in the shower

feeling the heat

knowing I am still falling

down the drain the water goes

I am full of desire in the morning

for your touch, your breath

your warmth

filling my heart, your love

feels right, completes me,

sings to my soul, cracks me

open

your eyes. I miss that fire

in your gaze – zing. zing.

amazing you. a maze, us

too much for you. a chance

thrown out, discarded

before formed, evolved

a future

I should not have counted on

this love, this desire remaining

however, I did. I do, believe

In us I see my chance for joy

for connection, a partnership

like no other. like you.

love you. still falling

down the drain the water goes

Random Photo of the Day:

2007

We enjoy working on a good set of jack o'laterns every year.  Back when Gma P was able to come and visit - she would carve with us.

We get a lot of good feedback from the trick or treaters -- our little glory (our lawn may be messy and we may not talk to our neighbors --but our pumpkins, well our pumpkins are amazing!).

Rumor has it we are going to get pumpkins tomorrow - this makes me happy as the last few years we got behind and it was grocery store pumpkins for us!


Fears and Anxieties: I have a meeting at the Merc tomorrow to show them cards - it's not got me terribly queasy but there is a little anxiety just over talking to new people and making sure I don't come off as a total wack-a-doo.  I have a few things to talk with the VHM about -just couple housekeeping stuff but it never seems like there's a good time when we aren't too tired, too involved in tasks or the kids aren't around.  I hate making too big a deal about it and "scheduling a meeting" but often times we have to just to find the time. Life should be easier. It has more to do about expectations undoubtedly and less about reality.

Tomorrow is Wednesday - there's plenty to do...

The next big thing:

Work on logo, and “tag line”[the VHM is working on this - but so far, well, um...he's not getting too far]

Work on bio

Take better pictures of product

[I still need to do the three above but I skipped em for now in favor of getting the Etsy Store up and running - I can add to and tweek this in the future]

Call BizBaz find out when november meeting is -Make a list of stuff we'll need for the BizBaz show, start gathering [I guess we don't find out what space we have until November, which makes it harder to plan]
 Set up Z's card -s - I got a good start - its more difficult than I realized to learn photoshop "on the fly"- and I hope to finish up tomorrow. 
Go to meeting at the Merc - don't act crazy
Work hard on the knitting project (its a time sensitive matter)
Develop "mail introduction" for stores outside the area -
Do some work on Etsy -