Cleaning up

The day in the office was spent cleaning - which allowed me a fair amount of time to think about things. I also did the first interview in a set of 3 of people who applied to work for me (for the APP). She was so very young. 

I spent a fair amount of time thinking about the direction I want to take this blog.  I mean, it's ok - I like having a place to put my thoughts -- random though they may be.

I aspire, I guess, to loftier things -more creative - less day to day drudgery; overall in my life and also in my writing. 

Writing for me comes in flurries like little storms and then departs - I have yet to fully find my voice I expect and I know I have trouble once I get it on the page to then even think about spending time with it (editing and whatnot).

When called upon to write (and speak to groups, which I do rarely but occasionally) - I usually do semi-inspirational and/or supportive writing.  When I write for myself it is definitely more of emotional cathartic writing -- and therefore, when things are calm in life - my writing is thin.


I have always been driven to help others - in a very personal significant way.  I studied psychology in school, with the idea of working with children.  I found myself with boundaries which were too squishy for such work (or so I was told).  I wasn't terribly healthy at that point in my life, neither in body or in spirit.  And though I still struggle with many of the same issues I had then - I have another 25 years or so under my belt - and still feel compelled, no matter how slight, to reach out and help others.

In my thirties, I used to tell people I was put on this planet to help others; and have sex. It was a weird period of my life. I have a better perspective now, but still feel that it is my calling.  The helping part anyway.

I would like to somehow merge my writing and my desire to help; along with my skill in support and guidance -- altogether.  I just don' t know what that would really look like or be.

So I will continue to write and see what develops.

Dad Report - Dad was o.k. today -- a bit needy, he didn't want to let me off the phone which is different.  He believes the key in me getting a good person hired for the part time position in my office as my clerk - the key is for me to find other jobs they can do outside of my job - so that they have adequate work/income to stay in the position I am offering.  When I said that it wasn't really my responsibility to find these applicants additional jobs, he said - "yes, but it would help you get what you want."   On the one hand it's a bizarre concept that you would get a person another job, so they could work the job you need them to do; but logical none-the-less.  Anyway. Dad was o.k. - bored as usual and the story about the scrabble game changed to that he "hadn't been practicing enough so they didn't allow him to play."   Huh.  I wonder what version is true.  He did mentioned he wished someone had told him he should practice his writing so that now when he struggled it would be easier for him.


Random Picture of the Day (a new feature, ha!)

Dec 13, 2007

Look it's the girl and boy-o, and myself setting up the Christmas Train.  The girl and I both have long hair. Oh the kids have gotten so big.